Unbecoming
by willgrahams
Summary: It's the fear running through your veins and it's the bullet from the one you love the most, but mostly it's quiet nights with you that drive me crazy. [Stiles Stilinski]
1. a drop of blood in a bowl of milk

bathe me  
in the  
moon  
and  
pluck  
away  
the stars  
so that  
I  
might  
hide


	2. one

_Death promises nothing for me  
And I don't expect nothing from death_

The crunch of leaves under her bare feet sounded out in the night, like bombs in the sullen quiet. Rushed footsteps, flurried movements, short and gasping breaths; they were the filters that followed, rushed in the night without the moon. The sky was black, as black as the rip open to hell, gaping wide and terrifying. Gnarled trees loomed out of every crevice, corner and scene. Roots tripped her, rocks catching in her already battered and bruised feet. Every muscle in her figure ached, pain shooting through her chest, her lungs flaming. But she had to keep running, she had to, she had to until she couldn't run anymore.

_Either than pain and sorrows  
Fears for fears / Live in me  
When I walk late at night on the road_

They were coming, they were catching up, with every gasp she took, she imagined their breathing: steady, unfaltering and calm. They were surreal, they were faster, and _they were gaining on her_.

With every step she took, she was completely, utterly, brazenly sure it was of no use. They could do it all, and they were just toying with her. She was absolutely sure, and she had absolutely no doubt. _Yet, she still kept running_. It wasn't an option to stop, not for her, not anymore. Adrenaline flowed through her as if it had replaced the blood in her veins. She didn't know how much time had passed and it wasn't enough, it was absolutely not enough.

_Because I never know what can happen to me_

And right when her lungs felt like they would collapse on each other, it came like a bullet to the gut: headlights reflecting through the night, catching her like a deer on headlights. The vehicle seemed to skid to a stop, inches away from where she had finally keeled over, unable to think straight, thoughts jumping out of the explosion in her head — "run" "coming" "can't stop" "HELP" — burning and tingling all over, not knowing whether it was fear or shortage of oxygen.

_I will never trust the promises of a lazy man_

She could hear whoever was in the car getting out, and she was still afraid. Her vision blurred together, the headlights blinding her till she felt as helpless as an ant under a boot. Terror had addled her senses, and all she saw was a threat. They were talking to her, she wished they would stop, she wished she could breathe, she wished she could get up, _she wished everyone would just go away_. And suddenly they were hands on her and she jolted as if electrocuted, words shooting out at random — "NO, DON'T TOUCH ME, GO AWAY, GO AWAY MAKE IT GO AWAY, _NO_!"

_What more can I give to God / Than myself  
Fears for fears_

She couldn't breathe, it was getting harder and harder to keep her eyes open, it felt as if the sky was falling on her, she could hear words out of the din and she could feel herself still screaming, though it was fading away. The hands had left but now they were back and they had a stronger grip and _oh god they're taking me away let me go please I'm sorry I don't want this I'm sorry— _

_The harbour is so quiet during the winter  
Because no boats are in the harbour during the winter  
And everything sleeps away in the harbour_

With one final attempt at struggling, her eyes wildly flickered on whoever it was who wasn't listening oh my god oh my god and then she could see a brown and it's a he and oh it's not them oh my god. Her eyes adjusted ever so slightly, and she knew he was talking but all the world seemed to mute out and she was okay for the first time in months.

_But summer is different  
Because the light shines all day  
Fears for fears  
Our bodies are made of water  
And we need water to survive in this heat _

**poem:** _Fears For Fears_ by Aldo Kraas


End file.
